


Zashchitnik

by emilyevanston



Series: Avengers as Parents drabbles [3]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Babies, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 18:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11856936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: You and Natasha are brand new parents to a baby girl.  Natasha won’t leave your little girls side for a minute.





	Zashchitnik

You walked into the living room to find Natasha asleep on the couch, your infant daughter asleep on her chest.  You chuckle quietly to yourself.  You had put Ellie into her crib about two hours ago and gone and taken a nap.  Either Ellie had woken up and Natasha had gone to get her.  Or Natasha had just gone to get her.   Somehow you expected the second to be true.

Since you had both brought Ellie home from the hospital 3 days ago, Nat had not left Ellie’s side.  She stuck with that baby girl like she was afraid that if she let go for just one second she’d cease to be real.

You took a moment to just watch them sleeping.  The slow even rise and fall of Natasha’s chest.  Ellie’s tiny hands balled in the fabric of Natasha’s shirt.  You smiled and approached them both, brushing Natasha’s fiery red hair from her brow.  Leaning down you pressed your lips to her brow, letting them linger against her skin.

Natasha’s eyes snapped open suddenly and one hand wrapped around Ellie protectively while the other swung up, pausing mid arc.  “Shit, sorry.  You startled me.”  She said, as Ellie started to cry.

You took her hand and kissed her fingertips.  “I should know better.  I’m sorry.”  You said.  “No harm done.”

Natasha sat up and started to bounce Ellie.  “Shh…moyo Zoloto.  Mommy has you.”

That familiar ache reached your breasts and you sat down beside Natasha.  “She’s hungry.  You want to change her and I’ll feed her?”

Natasha smiled at you and got up.  “Alright, Zolotse.”  She said, continuing to bounce a very unhappy Ellie.  She carried her into the bedroom.  Right from the start neither of you had wanted a nursery.  You had wanted to be close when she started to cry.  The crib was not close enough for Natasha and she would sometimes bring her to bed and you’d sleep with Ellie nestled between the two of you.

Natasha placed the infant on the change table and popped the buttons of the onsie.  As she changed the diaper she sang. “Tili-tili-bom, Zakroy glaza skoreye, Kto-to khodit za oknom, stuchitsya v dveri.  Tili-tili-bom.  Krichit nochnaya ptitsa.  On uzhe probralsya v dom.  K tem, komu ne spitsya.  On idet… On uzhe blizko… Tili-tili-bom.  Ty slyshish’, kto-to ryadom?  Pritailsya za uglom, I pronzayet vzglyadom.  Tili-tili-bom.  Vse skroyet noch’ nemaya.  Za toboy kradetsya on, vot-vot poymayet.  On idet… On uzhe blizko… Tili-tili-bom.  Ty slyshish’, kto-to ryadom?  Pritailsya za uglom, I pronzayet vzglyadom.“

The song soothed Ellie so soon she just stared up at Natasha making gurgling sounds.  By the time the last word was sung, Natasha was fastening the buttons back up.  She carried Ellie back out to you.  You had settled yourself into the couch, a pillow behind your back and one in your lap.  Natasha placed Ellie carefully into your arms and you pulled out your breast and offered it to your daughter.

Natasha sat down beside you and ran her fingertip over Ellie’s arm and down to her hand.  Ellie’s tiny fingers closed around hers and Natasha leaned down and kissed the tiny fist.

“Were you singing that creepy song?”  You asked, watching her.

Natasha chuckled softly.  “It’s not creepy.”

“I mean, maybe not for you.  But it’s about a monster breaking into a kid’s house and just lurking in their room.  It’s creepy.”  You insisted.

“Mmm…”  Natasha hummed. “And ‘Rock-a-bye baby’ is perfectly normal.”

You ran your hand through Natasha’s hair and curled a lock around your finger.  “Nat…”  You said softly.

She looked up at you from her place crouched over your lap.  Her green eyes soft and content.  “Mmm…?”  She hummed.

“I know Ellie is only 5 days old, but do you think this helicopter thing will last long?”  You asked.

Natasha sat back up and leaned against you.  “I’m sorry, Moyo solnyshko.”  She sighed.  “I didn’t expect meeting her would bring up all the things it did.”

You leaned your head against Natasha’s as you ran your thumb over your daughter’s cheek.  “So talk to me.”

Natasha sighed again.  “You know that I’m sterile.”

“Yes… because of what they did to you.”  You answered.  It was an issue that had been discussed a lot.  Particularly when the two of you had decided you had wanted to have a baby.

“I thought I’d come to terms with it.  I kept telling myself I never wanted a baby anyway.  Where in the life of a spy did children even fit?”  She said, her thumb stroking over the back of Ellie’s hand.  “I was married once and I got pregnant.  I thought I was stronger than what they did to me.  Then I had a miscarriage.  I wasn’t strong.  I was stupid.”

“Tasha, that isn’t what…”

“I know.”  Natasha said, cutting you off.  “Logically I know.  I don’t like admitting having feelings often, but sometimes what happens in here…”  She tapped her head.  “Doesn’t match what happens in here.”  She tapped her chest.  “But I was lying to myself, I did want children.  And I hate myself that I did.  I’m supposed to be stronger than that.  They trained me to be stronger than that.”

“Natasha, you aren’t what they did to you.”  You said firmly.   It was a phrase that you kept on hand like a mantra.  It was used whenever she wouldn’t allow herself to be weak.

“I know.  But the thing is; they took it from me.  They took the choice.  And when I thought I had it back, that was taken from me too.”  She said, her voice almost monotone in an attempt to stop her emotions from bubbling over.  “Only you gave it back. They couldn’t control me then.  And the one thing they did that I thought I would carry for ever, you undid it with the simple suggestion that you have our baby.  And here she is; and ever since she was born I am terrified they’re going to come and take her from me.  That this wasn’t something I was ever supposed to have.”

You turned your head to Natasha and leaned into her, capturing her lips with yours.  You kissed slowly and tenderly.  You hand going to her hair. When you pulled back, you rested your forehead against hers.  “We won’t let them.  Do you hear me?  She’s ours and they are never going to take her from us.”

“Look at you, Moy zashchitnik.  My protector.”  She said, rubbing her nose against yours.  “You’re right, we won’t.”   She took a deep breath in and smiled.  “YA ochen’ tebya lyublyu.  So, so much.”  She crouched back over your lap and breathed in the scent of Ellie and began to sing again.

“I love you too, Natasha.”  You whispered.


End file.
